Time: the Present
Location: the interior of George’s apartment, which is in the Ravenswood
neighborhood of Chicago
Act One, Scene One 1.30 AM Thursday morning
Scene Two 7.30 AM same morning
As the play opens we see the interior of a very modest studio apartment.
It is lit by a small lamp on the desk. There is a small, beat-up sofabed,
a chair, a tv on a tv stand, a desk with a computer and printer placed on it
with sundry papers and letters tossed about. A simple bookcase with about
50 books faces the desk. A filing cabinet is perpendicular to the desk. A throw
rug is under the desk and chair, and a small, twin sized mattress is on the floor.
Adjoining this room is a doorway through which we can see a table and two
chairs in the kitchen.
We see an empty apartment for a few moments. Then a key in the door. George
and Suzy enter. He is forty-five but looks ten years younger, while she looks her
age, which is forty. George is casually dressed in slacks and a long sleeved shirt.
Suzy is in a shift dress and heels. Both are attractive and a bit tipsy.
George
(entering) Voila! My Valhalla.
Suzy: Oh. The lair of the artist.
George: Yeah. Where he does his laying. Have a seat.
Let me get you a drink.
Suzy: Thanks. So. . .this is it.
George: (Goes into kitchen, fixes two drinks) Yeah.
Unfortunately. You look a bit underwhelmed.
Suzy: I just. . .thought it would be different.
George: (amused) So did I.
George: I mean nicer, much nicer.
Suzy: I didn’t mean it that way. I just thought. . .
it would be more personalized.
George: More knik-knaks? Maybe a Picasso on the wall?
A few Emmys?
Suzy: No. Of course not. I meant. . .more pictures or
something. You know, like cast photos of plays
you’ve been in, movies, pictures of other actors,
stuff like that.
George: Believe it or not, I do have stuff like that. But
most of it is in a storage locker in Los Angeles.
Tons of pictures, shots of living in New York
and L.A., my two ex-wives, prints, framed
artwork. I keep waiting to land a big
commercial or something so I can fly out to
L.A. and retrieve all my stuff. You’re right,
though. I should put some art
on the walls. Can’t believe I’ve lived here
eight years. Here. (Hands her drink)
Cheers.
Suzy: Cheers. (Both drink) Thanks.
Eight years? Why so long?
It seems so nondescript. And you seem
like the opposite of that. So interesting
and talented.
George: Thank you. And I quite agree.
It’s too drab. Must be an insight into
my laziness. (He joins her sitting on
the sofa.) Do you believe that guy at
the bar? His whole world built around
the Chicago Bulls?
Suzy: Well, he found something
he liked.
George: Liked? He was nuts. If I never
hear the name
Michael Jordan again in my life,
that’ll be fine. I mean, Jordan
seems like a very classy guy.
But enough already!
Suzy: Obviously, the team has left a
void in his life.
George: Yeah. What a nothing life.
I mean, do something.
Develop an interest in stamps,
movies. Become
an alcoholic, a burglar, something.
Suzy: He seemed to be looking to you for
guidance.
George: He just liked talking to me so he could
look at you. Didn’t you notice?
Suzy: You seem to have all the answers,
George. For everyone.
George: I do. I know everything.
(He’s rubbing her back)
Suzy: Really? I love your confidence.
It’s sexy.
George: That’s me. (He kisses her.)
Suzy: Mmmm. I like this. Glad we
finally left.
George: Me too. If we were still there, doing this,
basketball man would still
be going on about the Bulls. And staring
at you.
Suzy: Yes. You’re right. (She kisses him)
This is much better.
George: Much. (Kisses her again)
Suzy: (Playful) So, if you know everything -
what happens next?
George: Can’t you guess? Let me spell it out
for you. We finish this drink
while we make out. Then we get
undressed. We open up this sofabed..
(During this exchange both undress down to their underwear.
They open the sofabed and get into it.)
Suzy: I was wondering about that. The mattress
looks a bit small.
George: It is. The mattress is just for me. The
sofabed is for special guests. So. . .we
get into bed and make mad, passionate love
and we both have several super nova orgasms.
(She laughs) Then blissful sleep. Then we do
it all over again. (She chuckles.) Then we
get dressed. Go to breakfast at a coffee shop.
Exchange numbers. Start calling each other
several times a week. Go out a few times a
week. The sex is always spectacular. We
become soul mates. Finish each others’
sentences. Happily. Start to talk about
moving in together. What to do about your
husband? You drag your feet. Then I start
to feel smothered. I need my space.
e don’t talk for a while. See each other
less and less. The sex is still good. Then
ne night I see you with another guy at
that same bar. I avoid you. I stay away
from that bar.
(Awkward silence. Suzy had been smiling through most of his
description.)
Suzy: That sounds a little too real for me.
George: I’m kidding. That was just off the top
of my head. Actually, what really
happens is . . .we have a violent argument on
our third date and then you start stalking me.
I take out an Order Of Protection with the
cops but you keep hanging around. I
have to move and change my phone
number. I hate you. You ruined my life.
(She laughs. They kiss,
long embrace.)
Suzy: Let’s get comfortable.
(They have opened up the sofabed. It is just a mattress with
a sheet. George gets blanket and pillow from the twin
mattress on the floor and puts them on the sofabed.)
George: Now the real fun begins.
Suzy: Are you like this with all your
conquests?
George: No. There’s something about you
that makes me feel very relaxed.
Believe it or not, I don’t have many
conquests.
Suzy: I don’t believe you.
George: Good. You’re doing wonders for
my ego.
Suzy: Ha. You seem to have an extremely
healthy ego.
George: Would that were true. You know,
you’ve pumped me for info about my
life all night. What about you? I know
that you’re married, you’re in
advertising, and you live in Park
Ridge. There must be more.
Suzy: Well, there is. A little more. I have two
kids. They’re grown now and
flew the coop. Two girls, 22 and 19.
From my first marriage.
George: You married twice? Just like me!
Suzy: Yeah. The first one lasted..well, I
thought it would last forever. . .
Louie was my boyfriend in my senior
year of college. I met him at a
fraternity party. Which was odd for me.
I wasn’t into all that Greek stuff.
But a girlfriend invited me along and I
went, for a lark. And he chatted me
up at the party and treated me like an absolute
queen. He kept calling me The Actress.
I was a theatre major and got a lot of leads
in plays. I found out later that he had seen
me in a few parts. Anyway, he was funny and
good-looking and majoring in advertising.
We started going out and I got
knocked up, as they used to say. I was
strongly considering having an
abortion. I was nervous when I broached
the subject to Louie. The only
reason I told him was that I wanted him to
contribute to the cost of the abortion.
He was overjoyed. Here was the perfect excuse
to get married. And he confessed that he had
wanted to marry me ever since he first laid
eyes on me. He literally swept me off my feet.
I mean, before Louie I had never given any thought
to getting married. I wanted a career. As an actress.
My plan was to go to New York, get a bread and
butter job, then start doing off Broadway, that
sort of thing. Now here was this cute guy treating
me like I had already won the Academy Award.
He talked me into having a kid and getting married.
I loved the way he would flatter me and constantly
pay me compliments.It was bliss. For a long time.
I loved the kids and being a mom. Louie was talented
and moved up fast in the ad agency business. He
became an art director very quickly at a major agency.
So money was never a problem.
George: Then you got bored.
Suzy: Yeah. Basically. After a while being a mom just
wasn’t very fulfilling.
I resented not having a career of my own. Plus,
Louie was getting more successful and staying
out on his own more and more. He was bored, too.
George: You know, there are some similarities in my
first marriage. I was living the bachelor life in
Manhattan. Enduring it, really. Struggling.
Working as a cab driver to make the rent.
While going up for acting jobs. It’s just a matter of
time, I kept thinking. I had a roommate who
was also an actor/cab driver.
Then I got a wedding invitation from an
old buddy from college. Mike. He was getting
married in Boston. So I took the train down
for the wedding. That’s where I met Janey.
She was just so terribly nice and sophisticated.
Instant attraction. Day after the wedding, she
gives me a ride to the train
station. I asked for her phone number.
She says ‘Do you really want it?
Or are you just being nice?’ ‘I want it,’ I said.
So we start calling each other from New York
to Boston. She starts coming down to visit me.
It was like an Audrey Hepurn movie. She was
so classy. My apartment was a hole. This
place is upscale compared to the crib in New York
Anyway, long story short, we fall in love and have
a great romance. Lived together for a year, then
got married at City Hall. She was the nicest person
I’ve ever met. We were together ten years.
George: Boredom. There was no spark any more.
It was a physical thing. I still loved her.
You know?
George: I remember one night we had just returned
from a party. Did a lot of drinking. And
she starts goin’ down on me. Nothing. No reaction.
She kept at it. It had a desperate quality. I tried
to think sexy thoughts. Kinky thoughts. No.
She starts crying. We both knew it was over.
Suzy: With Louie, it was more subtle. He had a much
fuller life, with all his friends from the business.
I was a housewife. A homemaker. Ha. He
developed a drinking problem. And he had
all these college girls fresh out of school
coming on to him. And he indulged them.
Happily. I was very jealous of
of all the fun he was having. So I started
trying out for community theatre
parts and landing a few small ones. Anything
to get out of the house. Those small parts did
wonders for my self esteem. And then I
began making friends with those people.
That’s how I met Gordon.
Suzy: Yeah. By this time Louie was becoming
much more blatant about his affairs. He
was proud of them. He bought a condo downtown,
supposedly for business. But actually just a place
to bring his women to. Then he just began coming
home less and less. We never had sex any more.
Finally, the divorce just came as kind of
an afterthought.
George: So..was there a time when you were divorced
from Louie and thinking
about New York again?
Suzy: Yes. I thought about it a lot. But there
was more fear involved now. I mean, it’s one
thing to move to New York when you’re
right out of college and you think nothing
of living with three roommates and being a
waitress. Doing it at thirty two is much scarier.
And harder.
George: No shit. I’ve been there. Too many times.
You keep wondering ‘When’s
that break getting here?’
Suzy: Right. So that’s the state I was in when I met
Gordon. I mean, I had a job, at the ad agency.
A good job. But..I still wanted to be an actress.
I was doing a lot of community theatre. Getting good
feedback. But feeling like a phony in many ways.
Like I was playing at being an actress. Plagued
by dreams of being a real actress. One who got
paid. Finally striking out on my own. But the
more I waited the harder it was going to be. Then I
meet this guy in a play. Gordon. He’s a lawyer.
But also a frustrated actor. Successful as a lawyer.
And success is very sexy to me. We had the leads
in the park district production of “Two For The Seesaw.”
He was good. We fell in love. Moved in together.
Suzy: Yeah. Because of the girls. He was divorced.
We got along great and the sex was great.
He bought a summer home for us in Grand Beach
and we all got new cars. But he kept telling me
to stay put, New York would
break my heart, that kind of stuff.
George: So what happened?
Suzy: Uh. . .nothing. I still live with Gordon.
We got married six years ago.
He’s doing better than ever. As a lawyer.
And we both still do community
theatre. I got promoted to Assistant Art Director.
George: Well, you both have good jobs.
Sounds like a nice life.
Suzy: Oh, yeah. We moved to a bigger house
in Winnetka a few years ago. But
I still have my dreams.
George: Hey, we all make our own beds.
Let’s enjoy this one.
(He embraces her, they kiss. He turns out the light after
they kiss, they kiss again.)
Early morning. Suzy is getting dressed. She has on her
bra, panties and skirt. George just wakes up.
George: Hey. What’s the rush? Leaving so soon?
Suzy: You’re nothing but a forty-five year old bartender.
Living in a dumpy apartment in Ravenswood.
George: Thanks. The Lawyer’s Wife speaks. You know,
if I was a working actor you’d be so thrilled. A star
fucker. What a story to tell your suburban
housewife girlfriends. But . . if I was a working
actor I wouldn’t have to settle for you.
I’d be with the type that likes to try new
things. . .in and out of bed. The type of woman
who knows what she wants. And goes after it.
Suzy: ’Bye. Loser. (Exits apt. door)